If you have any degree of social interaction in your personal life or at work, you might have met people who have all praises and sympathy for you when they interact with you but have negative things to say about you to others!
I am sure every one of us has had experience in dealing with such people at some point in our lives!
If not, trust me on this, you have two-faced people in your life, you just don’t know about them yet.
A few days back I had a conversation with one of my friend, and he was struggling to understand the behavior of one of his colleague at work.
Now, his colleague was a well-behaved individual with years of experience in the field, and my friend trusted him enough to share personal issues and valued the advise that his colleague gave him.
However, my friend started doubting his intentions!
Shortly after my friend thought that his colleague was a good friend, he started hearing rumors about something that he confided to his colleague!
My friend found out that his colleague used to make fun of him and share every personal conversation with others!
Sounds familiar right? Its because most of us have been in a similar situation.
Everyone is Two-Faced!
While we would love to believe that our friends might not be two-faced, the truth is that most of us are two-faced.
It’s only a matter of understanding the sensitivity of the information and how much we like the other person.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that everyone betrays their friends and the concept of friendship is just an illusion.
I’m just stating the fact that everyone can be two-faced, it’s something that is deeply embedded in our nature, and our mind has developed it for hundreds of years.
But many of us don’t show it unless we feel threatened!
For some, it’s a lifestyle, but for many of us, it’s an emotional response just like anger.
Don’t agree? Let me give you an example.
Imagine that you have a colleague who been nothing but good with you. Eventually, you find out that your colleague has been talking negative things behind your back.
You confront him to clear things out, but your colleague flat out refused that he talked negative things about you.
You then start clarifying to people that the negative things they have heard are wrong and soon enough you subconsciously cross the line and start talking negative things about your colleague with others.
This is perfectly normal, and we all have this within us.
The only difference is for you it required provocation to bring out that behavior but for your colleague, it was a habitual behavior!
How to deal with two-faced behavior?
Well, it’s easy, don’t be reactive!
The sooner that you accept that being two-faced is human nature and has helped many survive the most difficult situations, the easier it will be for you to deal with it.
When you start being proactive towards people, you will realize that most of them are flawed like you and you accept that there are going to be numerous situations where someone would go behind your back to hurt your image.
You need to remember that the two-faced nature of people and even their other flaws are just their way of getting through life.
It’s just their way of surviving in this ruthless world.
You can either choose to be like them or you can choose to understand them and still accept them wholeheartedly.
When I say accept, I don’t mean trust!
It’s up to you to decide if trust is worth your time but the truth is you cannot trust anyone completely.
Trust has the bandwidth, and it’s up to you how much bandwidth you allocate to each person in your life.
While some might be on the higher spectrum of your trust, others would be on the lower, but you cannot trust anyone completely!
Because believe it or not, everyone is two-faced, even you!