For a very long time, I thought of myself as an introvert. I enjoyed solitude and avoided situations where I was needed to deal with people.
I felt uncomfortable being in groups and always found myself interacting with individuals I admired or had a good working relationship with.
For years, I could not identify myself as a part of a single group. Because I interacted with few people from different groups, I found myself aloof from any social security that people usually have from being in groups.
I had no issues with this as I always wanted to avoid confrontations with a group of people.
So, years later when I reflected on my behavior, I have found that I am no different today.
I am still an introvert. But years of interaction with people I didn’t really like has brought out the element of an extrovert in me! I guess that makes me an ambivert like most of the people are.
While it was true to some extent, the real reason I avoided social confrontations was the fear of being judged.
When I was in my early 20s, I feared that people would judge me for my actions, for my choices, and for my words!
I lived in this fear for as long as I can remember.
The fear of being judged incapacitated me of my mental abilities. I started doubting myself because I always thought I was not good enough and that if I go ahead and do something, people will know that I was not good enough. I didn’t want that.
See, a part of being an introvert is that you don’t like to be judged. You don’t want people to share their opinion about you. You don’t want people to know what’s going on in your personal life!
Millions of people around the world are suffering from social anxiety and fear of being judged. It can make a person feel inadequate, inferior and can have a devasting effect on self-esteem and confidence.
How do you overcome this fear?
Well, the best way to overcome any fear is by facing it! But its easier said than done.
I know it because I struggled with this fear for a long time, but now I have overcome this fear and its the best feeling in the world.
So, how did I do it?
“Good Enough” is just a mindset
I accepted that “good enough” is just a mindset. I might not be good enough for you, but I might be the best for someone else.
It’s just how the other person perceives you.
You don’t have to make everyone happy
Then I accepted that I don’t have to make everyone happy!
I am here to do my own thing and not the thing that others want me to do. Sure, my idea would not be your cup of tea, but its mine and I started valuing myself enough to understand that my actions are what makes me.
After that, things changed, and I started doing things that felt right to me.
Care for the important stuff
Then I stopped caring about what others might think.
Yes, I stopped caring and expecting from others. This doesn’t mean that I don’t care for the people I love, no, but I don’t care for people that don’t matter in the long-term.
See, people will always judge, and you do the same, its human nature, but when you understand that people do it to build an image and perception of what you are, you stop taking their opinions seriously.
Not every opinion deserves your attention
The next thing that I did to overcome this fear was to categorize the opinions of others into useful and junk, just like our email service does!
Not every opinion deserves to be in your inbox, not every opinion deserves your attention! Once you start following these steps, your life will be simplified. I know my life was simplified.
You will still have a fear of being judged from time to time, but now you will know how to overcome it! What do you think? How did you overcome your fear?